The Greater the Dowry, the Greater the Love 

Although we think of dowries as an old fashioned custom where the parents need to add to the bride’s charms by bribing the groom or his family with a few essentials such as a cow or two, in many countries where the woman’s status is no different than it was centuries ago, the custom continues with some very tragic twists.

These days dowries may take the form of cars, white goods such as washing machines, and of course the most acceptable, money. Problems arise once the wedding is over. Having had time to think about it, the groom and his family, wonder whether the bargain they made was as profitable as it could have been.

While some make the best of it, others turn to blackmail to squeeze a little bit more out of the bride’s family. There are veiled threats that if the dowry is not increased, the bride will not be the happy young wife that she is. Physical violence to the young wife is not unheard of, and thousands of deaths of wives are being attributed to the ill-will of the groom and his family unhappy with the size of the dowry.

The continuation of keeping a woman as either her father’s or her husband's servant, is often defended on the grounds of custom and culture. It is the custom of the particular culture to restrict a woman's movement. And it is unlikely, so say the defenders' of this custom, that a woman would want to be more free if given that right of greater personal freedom. It is culture that a woman desires nothing more than to stay at home, and they would take no pleasure in being able to attend the theatre, or eat at a restaurant, or take a walk in a public place without being thought a floozy.

Couple of centuries ago, it was the custom throughout Europe that mining industrialists in good times paid their workers just enough to keep them alive. It was also the custom that when the mining industry was not doing so well, then the subsistent wage was cut down to starvation level. It was the custom that children as young as four or five worked underground for as long as twelve hours a day. It was the custom that in those same mines pregnant women were dying giving birth to still-born babies.

I doubt that there’s too many people bewailing the change to those particular practices, although, no doubt, the industrialists weren’t too happy at the time.

Those who defend the current subjugation of women on the grounds that it is culture, and that the women themselves do not seek to be free from it, would probably find that the culture invoked, is benefiting someone – and it’s not the women.

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