The Girl Who Refuses to Marry

In one of Jane Austen’s book we learn that the usual way of getting the daughters married in those times, was to have them enter society one at a time. Once the older one was safely married, then you would introduce the next one into the society. And so on from the eldest to the youngest. If you were to let all your daughters out at the same time, they would, in effect, be competing for the same eligible bachelors.

This used to be a real pain for the bachelors themselves, who might not be real keen on the older daughters. It wasn’t a picnic for the younger daughters either. Some of them lived in dread that they would end their days husbandless all because their older sister didn’t have what it takes to get a husband.

We see this in Shakespeare’s ‘The Taming of the Shrew’. Here the father was quite adamant that, as was the custom, the older daughter had to marry before he would consider letting his younger daughter get married. But since the younger one was an absolute delight, and the the older had the charm of a grizzly bear, the gentleman who wanted the young one for his wife, had a real quandary on his hands. Unless he could persuade a friend to do him the favour of marrying the sour puss, it looked like his life as a husband would end before it ever began.

The custom of having the older girl marry before her younger sister, still persists in some cultures and has added traditions to the modern weddings. In some cases it is automatic that the older sister is appointed the main bridesmaid to give her as much exposure as possible among the marriageable bachelors who might be expected to be around.

The other is also the spotlighting of the unmarried sister by having her perform a dance bare-footed at the reception. While this is usually done on the dance floor, if the lass can be persuaded to do it on the top of a table, so much the better. While the symbolism is explained as bringing good fortune to the bride and groom, realistically it’s a cry of, ‘Hey, look me over, I’m every bit as desirable as my younger sister’.

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